POSITIVE WRITTEN SERMON – May God Improve All Of Our Relationships

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May God improve all of our relationships.

We are all in the process of growing. We are God’s children and we’re still growing spiritually whether we are 9 or 90.

One of the PhD’s of spirituality, is relationships. We usually master relationships AFTER everything else.

We find ourselves many times having one foot in one stage of life to the other, as opposed to thinking we’ve made it.

I already know that when I say, “I’ve made it!” I haven’t, and I will quickly be shown how I haven’t.

So I have decided to say, “I am in process.”

Have you noticed how wonderfully peaceful our lives can be in one moment, and then in the next second something happens that disturbs us and all of a sudden, we are very much into our humanity of nervousness, and fearful thinking.

There is no judgment of good or bad about what stage we may identify with as I go through our lesson today. We are simply where we are. It is a process, and every stage has come to pass, not to stay.

So, you might say that one really does built upon the other, and each stage is essential in our own spiritual growth.

The word co-dependency is a buzzword which came about a few years ago. It had to do with describing a dependency relationship.

At one time it strictly referred to the partner of an alcoholic; that was the co-dependent. But today it is much more than that. We say a co-dependent is anyone who comes from a dysfunctional family and helps to maintain that dysfunction. And it seems that, according to statistics anyway, that about 98% of us qualify for that. So, you might say we are in a very large family and we can share the common joy of growth.

A co-dependent relationship is when I depend on another person for my worth, to make me feel better, to tell me I’m okay, to make my day. We do all kinds of things in order to get what we want from the other person.

All of this, for the most part, is quite unconscious, it is not usually deliberately done, even though there have been those times when we certainly have done it consciously. And it is something we learned as little ones along the way. It seems that as we were growing, we learned to get what we wanted by working the system.

You, as parents (or an aunt or uncle or whatever your relationship with children is), are giving it your best. We might not always be our best, but hopefully we do the best we can in that moment. Do you think your parents were any different? Of course not! They were also giving it their best, but it was their best based upon what they experienced in life themselves and what they learned. And they probably did it a little bit better, if not a whole lot better, than what they learned because they have also grown. Life does go forward, and not backward.

So you might say it was our way of surviving to learn these various manipulative roles in order to have some kind of control over our lives. We all want control. And though children, do not have very much control over their lives, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to feel like they do regardless. We learned how to work the system as children. We found that through manipulation we could get what we wanted, at least to some degree, but NOT without a price.

With the hand we were dealt, we can either use it as a way to keep on doing things the way we are doing them, or we can use it as the very steppingstone into the kingdom of heaven.

It is time to remove the blemish from the word co-dependency. Let’s allow it to simply be a stage of growth that has come to pass and LET IT PASS.

Independency is a very curious stage of growth which comes into play when our co-dependent relationships fall apart.

Perhaps you have noticed that there are times in our lives when certain relationships become most distasteful and we say, “I’ve had enough of this. I think I would rather just go in another direction.”

We are by ourselves now. We are not dependent on someone to tell us what to do, and when to do it. We feel a sense of freedom; probably more accurately described as relief. We are thinking more about our spiritual lives. It’s the stage of being independent.

But after a while, the self-confidence begins to grow some. In the early part of the independency, we were doing fine. But now we are noticing that we have more friends, and we like that closeness, but we want someone special in our life again.

This might occur in a few months or in a few years. We say, “I’m feeling good about myself. I’m taking care of myself. I think I’m ready for another relationship.” Sure enough, Miss or Mister Special Person comes along, and I’m in love.

Heaven on earth has come again. Things are going along pretty well.

Then, I notice something, that I didn’t see in that blissful state; I notice there is something about this that bothers me, but I decide not to say anything because it doesn’t bother me that much. After a while, I see something else that is a little like the last relationship I had. After a while I think, “I thought I got rid of him/her the last time, but here he/she is again in a different body.”

We say to ourselves, “Why is this happening to me again?” Can anyone here identify with that? It comes to the point, however, when you have done this so much that we come up with the unfortunate recognition that the common denominator IS US.

We are the ones who are going to have to do something different if there is going to be any kind of change in our relationship so it will be something we call healthy.

An independent time is not really a stage of growth. It is more of a step sideways. An independent is a co-dependent who is single.

Now, you can be in a primary relationship and still be an independent. It fills like living with a roommate. I’m sure some of you have experienced that at times along the way too.

What I’m suggesting here is that there is more. When we get tired of going back from co-dependent to independent, when we’ve been in that pattern long enough, we say “There’s got to be a better way. There has to be more than what I’m going through.”

We feel like we have done everything we should, and we don’t understand why it isn’t working.

Let’s take a look at what is really being offered to us in every relationship if we are willing to see it. I believe that a relationship can offer us the very key to the kingdom of God that we all say we are seeking, to the kingdom of power, wisdom, understanding, harmony, and peace. But this is not without a price.

You might say that it is the narrow gate that not everyone is willing to take. How does it happen?

It begins with a willingness to love and accept ourselves just the way we are. Are you willing to look at yourself with all your wonderfulness and all your less-than-wonderfulness, with all your mistake-making, and all of the negative traits that are a part of our humanity, and then love and accept all those things about you just the way you are? God loves you, and you now fully accept that love for yourself.

Until we accept it, we are stuck. Until we are okay with where we are we cannot move higher. It is our very acceptance that allows us to change the things we need to change in life. We need to look at ourselves openly and honestly – and that means opening our hearts to ourselves and seeing what we see, not judging it, but being gentle with ourselves – and pour out the love of God that we are toward ourselves and our own humanity.

We all know that the greatest power in all the universe is God’s love coming through YOU.

It seems like we have a tendency to want to love everyone but us. In fact, we are so busy fixing, changing, and loving everyone else that we sometimes neglect the fact that we exist. What we really are doing is trying to compensate for the whole world by not allowing the love of God within us to be expressed toward ourselves. God’s love has to overflow from us.

Ask God to teach you how to love yourself – unconditional love toward yourself.

Ask in prayer, “Dear God, teach me how to love myself unconditionally,”

It truly becomes an open-ended question: Teach me how to love myself unconditionally.

Accept the fact that what you knew about unconditional love was simply not enough. This is an open door to the presence of God. This is an open door through which God rushes in to give you the next step you are to take in consciousness (whatever that might be) at a level you can understand perfectly.

But it isn’t just prayer, or meditation, or forgiveness, that is required of us; there is another part. What do we do when the emotions are running high? What do we do when everything is falling apart, we are feeling unworthy, rejected, and depressed, and all sorts of negative things are going on?

God is in the midst of your very being.

Every cloud contains a silver lining. The power that is in the midst of fear … is that not God? Could it be the calming voice of God saying, “It’s time to go higher?”

Could it be the voice of God saying, “Let’s move up because you are now ready for your next level of understanding, awareness, and wisdom?”

Say, “Yes, God. Let’s go forward. I’m ready to move out of the darkness into Your light.”

That means we can’t shut-down. That means that the fear (or whatever it is you are experiencing) is going to be the very catalyst that is going to get you moving through this. Or you can do the same thing you may always have done – use it as my millstone and keep status quo so I don’t have to change at all. You can repeat the same pattern with predictability, you can say once again, “Why is this happening to me again?”

It takes courage. But you have the courage of God. You have the strength of God. You have the wisdom of God. Are you willing to use it to move forward through what you have to face.

It’s like giving birth to a child. It hurts a lot when it comes , but when it is gone it is the most wonderful thing of all. When you walk through our own fears, it’s the same way. When you walk through them instead of shutting down, you experience the presence of God because just on the other side you are rending the curtain in two between the limited, the painful, the misunderstandings into the light of clarity, joy, understanding, and love.

When you can unconditionally honor and love ourselves just the way you are – and that doesn’t mean to stay there – this allows you to change. You are no longer wasting your energy by judging and wishing things were different. You are using the energy now to move on through it and go on with your life.

Until you can unconditionally love yourself, until you can have an relationship with yourself, it is impossible to have a relationship with someone else. It will never be safe. Are you safe with you?

In an inter-dependent relationship, we come together as two whole people – not as two halves trying to make a whole.

We come together, not because we need to, but because we want to share something. The joy of a relationship that is inter-dependent is that we come together to create something which hasn’t been created before.

When we come together as two whole people, we’re no longer afraid of intimacy because we have ourselves and we don’t need the other person. We come together as two whole people, and then we create something greater than ourselves. Through our combined energy, we bring forth

the presence of the Christ in a dimension we have never experienced by ourselves.

This is our purpose.

Jesus said, When two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them. We cannot know the power and the presence of Christ (even the beginning of its fullness) until we are willing to love, beginning with ourselves, and then reaching out.

Is it really possible?

YES! Our souls are ready for this, or we wouldn’t be here today.

It isn’t by chance that you are sitting here. This is a Divine appointment.

You have chosen the narrow gate, and it is time. It has nothing to do with age. It has to do with a willingness, and to step out and say, “I’m willing to be counted as one that loves fully.”

Each and every one of us is going to make a difference in this world if we take on this mission.

Everything you do becomes a light that shines out to another soul that says, “I’m ready.

There are a whole lot of people in this world who are waiting for you to get your act together so they can get on with their lives.

Let’s accept the challenge of godly change, of knowing ourselves, of loving humanity, and let’s do it now – instead of later. Let’s not waste any more time.

Let’s stop fooling around and get on with the purpose for which we are here – to know the love of God in ourselves, and extend it to ALL people everywhere.

I Love you. God bless you!

PRAYER / MEDITATION_____________________________________

In this time of prayer, we focus on God, and allow God to be our God that knows how to care for our every need.

Find that comfortable position. Take a deep breath in; release and let go. Let go of the past, and anything that would stand in the way of knowing God, God’s love we share together, and the peace that passes all understanding.

Now allow your human mind to be open. Gently open the heart. Allow the presence of love to be exposed.

I relax in the presence of God’s love. God is in my holy temple right now, and I rest in the heart of God.

I let go in the silence of prayer.

The past limitations begin to fade away now. I let go of any extraneous thoughts which come by.

I let go of those I have judged, or criticized, and those who have hurt me along the way.

I release all of these thoughts – all the judgments, all the unforgiveness, all the “I wish it were different” thoughts into God’s loving hands.

Now I turn my cheek in the other direction toward the Presence of God. My time is too precious to dwell on the past.

I want to know God, and to follow God, by expressing God’s love.

I am God’s beloved child, created in the image and after the likeness of goodness, perfection, joy, and harmony.

Although I made many mistakes along the way of life, there is something within me, that reaches out in love toward my own humanity.

Dear God, I am willing to love the unlovable part of myself – the part that makes mistakes, and the part that struggles and forgets the Truth of God. This is an experience of my own spirituality – to unconditionally love the unlovable.

As I bathe the unlovable of me in the pure love of God it is transformed.

Love within me, the healing power of the Divine, express uniquely through me. This is my purpose in life. As I begin with me, I also find that I reach out so much more easily. Now I am filled with compassion, instead of judgment, understanding, instead of criticism.

Dear God, truly we are one. As we walk this journey together, we are unfolding in the presence of God – the truth of our being. We reach out to one another, each different and yet with an equal blessing of healing, acceptance, beauty, and joy.

Thank You, God, for reminding me of who I am, and of why I am here.

And thank You for the great love that I am feeling expressing through me.

Today, we walk together, into another new dawn, alive with expectation of good, feeling blessed.

Thank You, God

In Jesus Christ’s name … .Amen.

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