Positive Daily Inspiration – June 12, 2022 – SUNDAY FUNNIES

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit.” Galatians 5:25

A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and a cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Dave.”

“Who?”

“Dave Bronson. There’s a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave.”

“There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

“Not Dave. He is a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star.”

“He was something, huh?”

“He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, I blackout the whole neighborhood.”

“No wonder you remember him.”

“Well, I never actually met Dave.”

“Then how do you know so much about him?”

“I married his widow!”

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year-olds. After explaining the Commandment to “Honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a Commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of the family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

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A preacher was completing his sermon. With great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” Then he finally said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” Finishing his sermon he then sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing hymn 265, “Shall We Gather at the River.”

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An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. “How did that happened?” gasped her mother.

“It wasn’t easy,” admitted the young lady, “but three girls helped me catch him.”

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A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The little girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the little girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, I know miracles happen – because someone prayed!
Jesus said, “Where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
I know that every person connected to Positive Christianity creates a meeting together in prayer.
In that meeting together in prayer, though we be miles or even oceans apart, we are one – one in the very presence of You, dear God. Time has nothing to do with it, space has nothing to do with it – we are one. And in this oneness of prayer the Christ presence is felt, the power of God is experienced.
“There am I in the midst of them.”
Our prayers become a part of this great central prayer power that has become known around the world.
We turn to You, dear God, the source. We turn to the power of God that is always present with us.
And even to turn in thought to Positive Christianity is to make connection with the prayer power that is continually going forth, reinforcing by the faith of those that are praying, and the faith of the multitude of persons who are praying with us. Through prayer, we know the power of God. We pray that we are a bridge by which you cross over from fear to faith.
We pray that when you pray with us, you link yourself with us; together we stand in faith, together we know the omnipresence of God, together we know the nothingness of negation.
With God all things are possible!

THANK YOU, GOD!

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I am centered and poised in the Christ mind, and nothing can disturb the calm peace of my soul.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “Hard work spotlights the character of people: Some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” Sam Ewing

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Tithing brings miracle blessings from God.
Instant online, or recurring monthly giving:
https://positivechristianity.net/donation-tithe/
By mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, TX 77387
Thank you!

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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth