Positive Daily Inspiration - June 5, 2022 - SUNDAY FUNNIES
(Submitted with our great thanks)
“With thee is the fountain of life.”
Psalms 36:9
Think a gallon of gas is expensive?
This makes one think, and also puts things into perspective.
Diet Snapple, 16 oz, $1.29 … $10.32 per gallon!
Starbuck’s Reg. Coffee 16 oz, $2.10 … $16.80 per gallon!
Lipton Iced Tea, 16 oz, $1.19 … $9.52 per gallon!
Gatorade, 20 oz, $1.59 … .. $10.17 per gallon!
Ocean Spray, 16 oz, $1.25 .. $10.00 per gallon!
Brake Fluid, 12 oz, $3.15 … . $33.60 per gallon!
Vick’s Nyquil, 6 oz, $8.35 … $178.13 per gallon!
Pepto Bismol, 4 oz, $3.85 . $123.20 per gallon!
Whiteout, 7 oz, $1.39 … … … $25.42 per gallon!
Scope, 1.5 oz, $0.99 … ..$84.48 per gallon!
And this is the REAL KICKER.
Evian water, 9 oz, $1.49 … $21.19 per gallon!
$21.19 for a gallon of WATER!!
and the buyers don’t even know the source
(Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)
Ever wonder why computer printers are so cheap? So, they can hook you for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink … you won’t believe it, but it’s true: $ 5,200 A GALLON!!!
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Ole and Lena were out walking when Lena clutched her heart and fell to the sidewalk. Ole got out his cell phone and called 9-1-1. The Operator said “Where are you?”
Ole said, “We were walking, and Lena is on the sidewalk on Eucalyptus Street.”
The operator said, “How do you spell that?” and the phone seemed to go dead. The operator kept shouting for Ole. She could hear him panting.
Then he came back on and said, “I dragged her over to Oak St., that’s … O-A-K.”
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Always borrow money from a pessimist – they will never expect it back
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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the other passengers in his car.
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My therapist told me the true way to achieve inner peace is to always finish what you start.
So far, I finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I already feel better. Dave Barry
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Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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Nothing sucks more than that moment when in an argument you suddenly realize that you’re wrong.
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When tempted to fight fire with fire always remember that the fire department usually uses water.
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To err is to human. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
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Evening news begins with good evening and then they go on to tell you why it isn’t.
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I read recipes the same way that I read science fiction. When I get to the end I always say, “Well that’s not going to happen.”
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The trouble with being punctual is it no one is there to appreciate it.
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Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns
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To attract men, I wear perfume called new-car interior. Rita Rudner
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All you need to grow vigorous healthy grass is a crack in the sidewalk. Will Rogers
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
I DO NOT FEAR
I do not fear. I believe!
I never want to overlook a solution because I am caught up in the problem itself. So I make it a point to allow my belief in the power and the presence of God to be my focus.
I do not fear. I believe!
There is a light in the world that outshines any light made by human hands and radiates with an energy far greater than the sun. This tremendous light is the presence of God.
I do not fear. I believe!
The spark of faith that is with me and in me now draws my attention to the source of being – the Spirit of life and wisdom given as a gift of God to God’s children. In much the same way as oxygen is necessary to keep a fire burning, my awareness is essential to keep me always turned toward the light of God, instead of the darkness of my problem.
I do not fear. I believe!
When faced with the problem, I ask yourself: I wonder what God will do with this? Through the years, I rely more and more on God’s solutions – for they are always perfect!
I do not fear. I believe!
The light of God fills my being, burning brighter and brighter until I can never be separated from it. I find that I no longer have dark and hopeless thoughts. I am one with the eternal light of God.
I do not fear. I believe!
The darkness of doubt is gone forever, for a spark of faith has filled me with the light of God.
And so, it is. In Jesus Christ’s name, Amen.
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: The living Christ quickens my mind and heart. I know that Divine love radiating through me attracts only good into my life.
POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “The secret of staying young is to find an age you really like and stick with it.”
Snoopy
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Tithing brings miracle blessings from God.
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Thank you!
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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth