Positive Daily Inspiration – August 14, 2022 – SUNDAY FUNNIES

(Submitted with our thanks!)

“God’s Divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness.”
2 Peter 1:3

The Hymns

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to, alter the worship service, ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. “Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.” During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.” At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star-Spangled Banner.” And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

HYMNS FOR ALL THINGS

The Dentist’s Hymn … … … … … … Crown Him with many Crowns
The Weatherman’s Hymn … … … … There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
The Contractor’s Hymn: … … … … … The Church’s One Foundation
The Tailor’s Hymn: … … … … … … … Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer’s Hymn: … … … … … … … There’s a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician’s Hymn: … … … … … … Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist’s Hymn: … … … … Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent’s Hymn: … … … … … I Surrender All
The Gossip’s Hymn: … … … … … … … Pass It On
The Electrician’s Hymn: … … … … … … Send The Light
The Shopper’s Hymn: … … … … … … Sweet By and By
The Realtor’s Hymn: … … … … … … … I’ve Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapists Hymn … He Touched Me
The Doctor’s Hymn: … … … … … … … The Great Physician

AND for those who speed on the highway – a few hymns:

—–45mph … … … … … … God Will Take Care of You
—–55mph … … … … … … Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
—–65mph … … … … … … Nearer My God To Thee
—–75mph … … … … … … Nearer Still Nearer
—–85mph … … … … … … This World Is Not My Home
—–95mph … … … … … … Lord, I’m Coming Home
—–Over 100mph … … … Precious Memories

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, thank You for the gift of TODAY.
Thank You for my unlimited possibilities.
With Your help, my future is like none that has gone before!

In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: With God, I live in the realm of unlimited possibilities!

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence.”
Vincent Lombardi

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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth