Positive Daily Inspiration – September 4, 2022 – Sunday Funnies

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“I have said this to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation: but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

At the end of summer, when the power mower was broken and wouldn’t run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sunk in.

Finally, I thought of a clever way to make the point. When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

He watched silently for a short time, and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments, and when he came out again, he handed me a toothbrush.

“When you finish cutting the grass,” he said, “you might as well sweep the sidewalks.”

He will be just fine, when they take the casts off.

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Everyone thinks we are senile.

An elderly couple, who were childhood sweethearts, had married and settled down in their old neighborhood and are celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary.

They walk down the street to their old school.

There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they’d shared, and where he had carved “I love you, Sally.”

On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armored car, practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, but they don’t know what to do with it, so they take it home. There, she counts the money, and it’s fifty-thousand dollars. The husband says, “We’ve got to give it back.” She says, “Finders keepers” and she puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic.

The next day, two FBI men are going door-to-door in the neighborhood, looking for the money and show up at their home.

They say, “Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

She says, “No.” The husband says, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.” She says, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.” But the agents sit the man down and begin to question him. One says, “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

The old man says, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday … “

The FBI guy looks at his partner and says, “We’re outta here … “

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

On this Sunday, I take time to worship in my own way. If I am able to go to church – I go.

I do not miss the opportunity to be recharged and revitalized. I spend time today with God and this prepares me in spiritual ways beyond what I even know. I worship You dear God, in gratitude for all the wonder in my life.

In Jesus Christ name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I am God’s child, richly endowed with God given gifts. I praise the good in my life.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars … you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” Desiderata

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GOD BLESS YOU, Happy Labor Day!
Christopher Ian Chenoweth