Positive Daily Inspiration – October 23, 2022 – Sunday Funnies

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“Know therefore that the LORD your God, is God, the faithful God, who keeps God’s covenant and God’s lovingkindness to a thousandth generation with those who love God and keep God’s commandments.”
Deuteronomy 7:9

One particular four-year-old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, “If he gets loose, will he hurt us?”

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait”. Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus!”

A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. “Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked. “He died and went to Heaven,” the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, “Did God throw him back down?”

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When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”

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A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father’s laptop computer. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

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I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always, she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!”

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Our five-year-old son Mark couldn’t wait to tell his father about the movie we had watched on television, “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.” The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark. “What caused the submarine to sink?” With a look of incredulity Mark replied, “Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!”

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

What can I give God
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb;
If I were a wise man
I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give God –
Give my heart.

– Rossetti

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I am one with the life of God!

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “I believe that prayer is the very soul and essence of religion, and, therefore prayer is the very core of the life of a person, for no one can live without prayer.”
Mahatma Gandhi

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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth