Positive Daily Inspiration – November 13, 2022 – Sunday Funnies

Positive Daily Inspiration - November 13, 2022 - Sunday Funnies

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in Me, and the peace of God will be with you.”
Philippians 4:9

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. The family had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was so hot in the summer and freezing cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy was determined that one day he would push that old outhouse straight into the creek.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. He found a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, “Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It Was you, wasn’t it son?”

The boy answered, yes. Then he thought a moment and said, “Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn’t get into trouble because he told the truth.”

The dad replied, “Well, son, George Washington’s father wasn’t in the cherry tree!”

_________

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. ‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’ St. Peter asked.

‘Well, … I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered.

‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen.

So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.

I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll beat you all up!

St. Peter was impressed, ‘When did this happen?’

‘Couple of minutes ago.’

_________

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

I offer this prayer of peace
Not to the Christian God
Nor to the Buddhist God
Nor to the Islamic God
Nor to the Jewish God
But to the God of ALL humanity.
For the peace that we wish for
Is Not a Christian peace
Nor a Buddhist peace
Nor an Islamic peace
Nor a Jewish peace
But a human peace
For all of us.
I offer this prayer of peace
To the God that lives within all of us
That fills us with happiness and joy
To make us whole
And help us understand life
As an expression of love for all human beings.
For no religion can be better
Than any other religion
For no truth can be truer
Than any other truth
For no nation can be bigger
Than the earth itself.
Help us all go beyond
Our small limits
And realize that we are one
That we are all from the earth.
That we are all earth people
Before we are Indians, Koreans, or Americans.
God made the earth
We humans have to make it prosper
By realizing that we are of the earth
And not of any nation, race, or religion,
By knowing that we are truly one
In our spiritual heritage.
Let us now apologize
To all humanity
For the hurt that religions have caused,
So that we can heal the hurt
Let us now promise to one another
To go beyond egotism and competition
To come together as one in God.
I offer this prayer of peace
To you the almighty God
To help us find you within all of us
So that we may stand proudly one day before you
As one humanity.
I offer this prayer of peace
With all my beloved earth people
For a lasting peace on earth.

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: Within my soul, God comforts me.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: God won’t ask what kind of car you drove, but God will ask how many people you helped get where they needed to go.

_____

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_____

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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth