Positive Daily Inspiration - January 15, 2023 - SUNDAY FUNNIES
(Submitted with our great thanks)
“But Thou art near, O Lord, and all Thy commandments are true.”
Psalms 119:151
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother,
“Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up.”
“That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?”
“Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.”
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While attending a marriage seminar on communication, David and his wife listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”
He addressed the men, “Do you know what your wife’s favorite flower is?”
David leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn’t it?”
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A woman walks into a bank, in New York City, and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled … While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The woman replies … “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
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His wife’s graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.”
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
Dear God, this Sunday, I give You my full attention. I do not let outer conditions control me. I focus my attention on You as the only power in my life. I turned to You with faith and conviction, I shift my attention away from temporary fax and conditions to the lasting reality of Your good. My life reflects the blessing of my oneness with You.
In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen
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POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: There is One presence and One power in my life: God, the good, omnipotent.
POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “To me every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle.”
Walt Whitman
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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth