Positive Daily Inspiration – January 8, 2023 – Sunday Funnies

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“My peace I give unto you.” John 14:27

1. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

3. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
When the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering” and five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of”

6. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
The choir is known as the “OK Chorale”.

7. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

8. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized ” Wheeling ” washtub.

9. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob’s Barbecue.

10. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.

11. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

12. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

13. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
The communion wine is Boone’s Farm “Tickled Pink”.

14. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
“Thou shall not covet” applies to huntin’ dogs, too.

15. You know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
The final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, Ya hear”.

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, I let go and I let You take over. I let go of the negative. I let go of the stress. With Your help I implement the positive. I let go of unwanted thoughts and feelings and I let the calm and the quiet of the Divine rule supreme. I let the spirit of peace, the spirit of love, the spirit of faith, the spirit of good – take over in my life and all that concerns me.

In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: I let go and I let God.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE: “As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more.”
Jules Renard

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GOD BLESS YOU, Happy New Year!
Christopher Ian Chenoweth