Sunday Funnies - March 26, 2023
Sunday Funnies
(Submitted with our great thanks)
Questions To Ponder:
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money on binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They are both dogs!
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I’ve decided, I’ll never get down to my original weight. I am okay with that. 6 lbs. 3 oz. is just not realistic.
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Do you feel like you have lost your control keys?
Do you worry that you’ll never have enough memory?
How is your relationship with your motherboard?
Have you tried turning it off, taking a day off for yourself, and turning it back on?
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An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him “How do you expect to get into Heaven?”
The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'”
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
Dear God, I ask You to be my guardian protector.
I pray that you will guard me against harm.
I pray that you will guard me against myself when I choose wrongly.
I pray that you will guard me against others when they choose wrongly.
Protect me by Your ever-abiding guidance.
I pray that You will be my guardian every day of my life, and guardian to those that I hold dear.
Thank You God for making me feel safe and protected.
In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
Today, I affirm I will smile ten times more.
POSITIVE FUNNY QUOTE:
“A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.”
Sen. Everett Dirksen
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