Positive Daily Inspiration – April 16, 2023 – Sunday Funnies

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“Jesus answered them, ‘Have faith in God.'”
Mark 11:22

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along, for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long, the dachshund discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dachshund thinks, “OK, I’m in deep trouble now!” Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.”

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. “Whew,” says the leopard.

“That was close. That dachshund nearly had me.”

Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.”

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet … and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says … “Where’s that monkey? I sent him off, half an hour ago, to bring me another leopard.”

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You know you’re living in 2023 when …

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You text your coworker who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have a Facebook account.

6. When you go home, after a long day at work, you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial “9” to get an outside line.

8. You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o’clock news.

11. Your boss doesn’t have the ability to do your job.

12. Contractors outnumber permanent staff

… and the real clinchers are …

13. You got this e-mail from a friend that never talks to you any more, except to send you jokes from the ‘Net.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a No.9.

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, how could I not have faith in You, the Creator of the glorious universe filled with wonder and delight.

God, I am so thankful for Your love and care.

I am amazed at the extent of Your care when warm rays of sunshine that have traveled through the vastness of space touch my face. When a child reaches out in the joy of loving and touches me, I feel a greater understanding of my faith in You and Your unconditional love for me.

My faith in You increases with my growing awareness of Your presence.
As I discover more and more of the wonder and delight of Your creation,
I understand that You are saying, I am with you and within you always.

God, I am thankful for You and thankful for my ever-growing awareness of Your presence.

Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
My faith increases with a growing awareness of God.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:
“Wisdom is knowing what to do; virtue is doing it.”
David Jordan

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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth, and our prayer team.