Positive Daily Inspiration - May 21, 2023
Sunday Funnies
“These things I remember.”
Psalms 42:4
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair!
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge … mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
7) The Five-Word Weight Loss Diet … Eat Less and Exercise More.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
Dear God, I pray that I am
one with You in the health,
one with You in the hope,
one with You in expression of love,
one with You in abundance,
one with You in peace.
Thank You God!
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
Jesus Christ is raising me to His consciousness of unfailing faith, and I abide in him.
POSITIVE FUNNY QUOTE FOR TODAY:
“A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.” Bob Hope
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