Positive Daily Inspiration – May 22, 2023 – GETTING OVER LONELINESS

“For I was hungry and you gave me food,
I was thirsty and you gave me drink,
I was a stranger and you welcomed me,
I was naked and you clothed me,
I was sick and you visited me,
I was in prison and you came to me.”
And then the righteous answered him,
“Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you,
or thirsty and give you drink?
And when did we see you as a stranger and welcome you,
or naked and clothe you?
And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?
And the King will answer them,
“Truly, I say to you,
AS YOU DID IT TO ONE OF THE LEAST OF THESE MY FRIENDS
– – YOU DID IT TO ME!!!”
Matthew 25:35-40

As I talk and counsel with people, I am continually surprised at how many people express how lonely they are. The world is growing in population and most of the time we are surrounded by crowds of people and yet we live as independent and isolated islands.

An unusual member of the plant kingdom, the Mimosa is a sensitive plant and avoids relationship with any other living being. Even the youngest plant, covered with small-bone branches of thin, fern-like rows of leaves, protects itself from the touch of a finger or a burst of wind. Each frond, when touched, closes in domino fashion.

Many times, human beings do the same. We isolate ourselves, giving ourselves a false sense of protection. Many people live in a shell that becomes a prison. One example of this is the crowded elevator syndrome. There we are, packed in an elevator, no one touches, no one talks, no one makes eye contact, and we remain alone.

The poem called “Minnie Remembers,” from Mind Song by Donna Swanson, tells the story. Minnie appears as a self-sufficient, independent person. But the poetry tells another story:

How long has it been since someone touched me?
Twenty years?
Twenty years I have been a widow,
Respected,
Smiled at,
But never touched.
Never held close to another body,
Never held so close and warm that loneliness was blotted out.

Henri Nouwen’s “The Wounded Healer” describes lonely, abandoned people who have no one to love them. Nouwen tells of the young minister who has nothing to offer an old man facing surgery except his own loving concern. “No man can stay alive when nobody is waiting for him,” writes Nouwen. “Everyone who returns from a long and difficult trip is looking for someone waiting for him at the station or the airport. Everyone wants to tell his story and share his moments of pain and exhilaration with someone who stayed home, waiting for him to come back.”

In our high-tech world, loneliness is getting worse, not better. Now, there is a mechanical arm available that enables a fan watching a game on television to get a “high five,” after an exciting play. The arm attaches to a table, wall or floor, and the pivoting elbow swings back after each slap.

A 55-year-old woman threw herself from a 14th-floor apartment to the ground below. Minutes before her death, she saw a workman watching from the windows of a nearby building. She greeted him and smiled, he smiled and said hello to her. When he turned his back, she jumped.

On a very neat and orderly desk, she left this note: “I can’t endure one more day of this loneliness. My phone never rings! I never get letters! I do not have any friends!”

Another woman, who lived just across the hall told reporters, “I wish I had known she felt so lonely. I’m lonesome myself.”

But lonely people cannot close themselves up like the Mimosa plant talked about above. Often in counseling lonely people, the dialogue is … me, me, me, me, me. This is why they are lonely. The dialogue must be you, you, you, you, you. They must learn to become more concerned with others than they are themselves, and reach out in this way. Those that have done this through volunteering etc. are often soon surrounded by new friends.

Barbara Walters wrote a book on how to become the best conversationalist in the world, talking in terms of the other person’s interest. They rarely talk about themselves. Learning this is often a complete reversal of lifelong conversational techniques a person has used. You will be able to talk about yourself again, but much later on, and you will find that the need and the want to do so will lessen.

Lonely people surround you and me. I encourage all the Positive Daily Inspiration readers to reach out and touch another person. We all question what our purpose is. We all want to make a difference – well, we can! Do you know your neighbors? Do you know your co-workers? Are you surrounded with potential friends? Be a friend first!

I recommend Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” The best way to fight loneliness is to do something for someone else. To get outside of yourself and give yourself away. If everyone reading this would do like the television ad used to say, “Reach out and touch someone,” we would make a major difference in our world.

Relationships are relating-ships. A person wants to be around you because of the way you make them feel.

If we really want to do something for God, we need to do something for our fellow humans. It has been my experience that everyone can make a major difference in someone’s life. You might not ever know the profound difference that you make and this is good. Imagine if the woman who decided to throw herself off of the 14th floor had met a friend the week before. A friend would never know the difference that they made because the disastrous event would have never taken place.

God is constantly with us all, but we are in this human experience, and WE ALL NEED human contact and human touch. God is always at hand to bless you, and you are never separated from God. As God’s loving presence is at hand to bless you, your loving presence will be at hand to bless other people.

Wherever you go, you will cast a positive shadow. Even if you pass a certain direction but once, YOU WILL make a positive difference through the influence that you have on other people’s lives. You will always go the extra mile to connect with other human beings, and you will remain open to them staying in connection with you. You will find that you can’t give your friendship away; it comes back to you many times multiplied.

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

O Lord, the Scripture says:
“There is a time for silence and the time for speech.”
Dear God, teach me the silence of humility,
the silence of wisdom,
the silence of love,
the silence of perfection,
the silence that speaks without words,
the silence of faith.

Lord, teach me to silence my own heart that I may listen to the gentle movement of the Holy Spirit within me and sense the depths which are God.
(A 16th century prayer)

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

Today, I use my mouth only to discuss the other person’s interest; I use my ears to open up and really listen. I go forth making others feel good.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

“We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival.”
Sir Winston Churchill

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