Positive Daily Inspiration – June 11, 2023 – SUNDAY FUNNIES

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“He the dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, God is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in God will I trust.”
Psalms 91:1, 2

Idle thoughts of a wandering mind …

… I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.

… I had amnesia once – or twice.

… Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

… All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

… What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

… They told me I was gullible … and I believed them.

… Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

… One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

… My weight is perfect for my height – which varies.

… I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

… The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.

… How can there be self-help “groups”?

… Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.

… Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?

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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here.”

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!” says the leopard, “That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, “Where’s that lazy monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”

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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, I pray on this Sunday that I am aware of your love and help every moment of the day.
I pray that this is the day that I gain a wider vision of my spirituality and possibilities for the future.
I go with God and I know You go with me.

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
God, in God’s love, pours out God’s abundant good upon me, and my life and world show forth God’s perfect order.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:
“In science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to the man to whom the idea first occurs.”
William Osler

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