Positive Daily Inspiration – July 23, 2023 – Sunday Funnies

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“I will sing of loyalty and of justice.”
Psalms 101:1

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True: Caller ID –

This story involves a pastor of a storefront church. The pastor’s church is called Almighty God Tabernacle.

On a Saturday night, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn’t answer the phone. The pastor let it ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn’t answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes.

When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn’t answered before, and she said that it hadn’t rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he’d used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he’d called on Saturday night.

The pastor couldn’t figure out what the guy was talking about. Then the guy said, “It rang and rang, but I didn’t answer.” The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he’d intended to call his wife.

The man said, “That’s OK. Let me tell you my story. You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, ‘God if you’re there, and you don’t want me to do this, give me a sign now.’

At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, ‘Almighty God’.

I was afraid to answer!”

AMEN

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For those diagnosed with AAADD – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it goes …

I decide to do work on the car, start to the garage and notice the mail on the table. OK, I’m going to work on the car … BUT FIRST I’m going to go through the mail. Lay car keys down on desk. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. OK, I’ll just put the bills on my desk … BUT FIRST I’ll take the trash out, but since I’m going to be near the mailbox, I’ll address a few bills … Yes, Now where is the checkbook? Oops … there’s only one check left. Where did I put the extra checks?

Oh, there is my empty plastic cup from last night on my desk. I’m going to look for those checks … BUT FIRST I need to put the cup back in the kitchen. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice the flowers need a drink of water, I put the cup on the counter and there’s my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter. What are they doing here? I’ll

Just put them away … BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and … Aaaagh! someone left the TV remote on the wrong spot.

Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants … BUT FIRST I need to find those checks.

END OF THE DAY: Oil in car not changed, bills still unpaid, cup still in the sink, checkbook still has only one check left, lost my car keys, … And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because … I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!

I realize this condition is serious … I’d get help … BUT FIRST … I think I’ll check my e-mail.

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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, I pray that you will help me to laugh more and take myself less seriously. I pray that I have the ability to see humor in life.
I pray that I am never afraid to smile and share this God-given warmth of living.

In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

I am peaceful and relaxed in the knowledge that

God’s spirit of Divine order and understanding is at work in all my affairs.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

“Courtesies of the small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.”
Henry Clay

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