Positive Daily Inspiration – September 17, 2023 – Sunday Funnies

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“The Spirit of God has made me.”
Job 33:4

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment … now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!

The biggest lie I tell myself is … “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

If God wanted me to touch my toes, God would’ve put them on my knees.

I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet …

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

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2023 Advice from an Old Farmer

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered … not yelled.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It doesn’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life … Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

In 2023 I manifest my God-given health.
Within me courses the pure, perfect, healing life of God.
I think about the pattern of perfection within me, the image of God in which I am created and the spiritual floodgates open.
Healing flows within me as I center my attention in prayer on the pure life of God.
I am healed through and through, day by day, month by month – this year!
I bless God’s perfect life making me whole and well, and keeping me that way, in this God-given time of 2023.
My mind overflows with praise and thanksgiving to God.

In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

I live a life in God’s perfect life.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

“Being generous of spirit is a wonderful way to live”
Pete Seeger

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