Positive Daily Inspiration – November 19, 2023 – Sunday Funnies

a gift from www.PositiveChristianity.net

̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶ o O o ̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“For freedom Christ has set us free … “
Galatians 5:1

A woman calls her husband and sounding really stressed says,

“Please come over here and help me. I have a jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started. I’ve been working on it for hours!!!”

Her husband asks, “What is it supposed to be when it is finished?”

The wife says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her husband decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in the room and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”

He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax.

Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then … ” he sighed, ” … Let’s put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”

__________

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.

Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But, you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

___________

A contestant on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000-milestone money.

And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, “Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it

A) the condor;

B) the buzzard;

C) the cuckoo; or

D) the vulture?”

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer.

And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it. Mainly because the only friend that she knew would be home she didn’t think she knew anything about birds.

But the contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The friend responded unhesitatingly: “That’s easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo.”

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was not a bird person, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand – the friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.

“I need an answer,” said the host.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, “C: The cuckoo.”

“Is that your final answer?” asked the host.

“Yes, that is my final answer.”

Two minutes later, the host said, “I regret to inform you that that answer is … absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!”

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends – including the woman who had helped her win the million dollars.

“Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you,” said the contestant. “Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. And do you want to know something? It was the assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. By the way … HOW did YOU know the right answer?”

“Oh, come on,” said the friend. “Everybody knows that cuckoos don’t build nests. They live in clocks.”

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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

A BLESSING FOR YOUR CHURCH

This is God’s house.

May all who come here not only find out about God but find God.

May there be beauty in this place, but especially may it be a place where men and women become aware of the beauty in themselves.

May this be a place of worship. May this be a place of instruction. May this be a place of singing. May this be a place of prayer.

But for us who worship and take instruction and sing and pray, may this always be a place of inner-stillness, where we may listen and hear when God speaks.

May whoever ministers here minister in love. May whoever teaches here teach truth. May whoever serves here serve pleasantly.

May everyone come into this house in expectation and go with thanksgiving, and May anyone who comes needing help go feeling blest.

May this be such a house that Jesus Christ – or any stranger, even one of the least – would feel in it that they were with friends.

– James Dillet Freeman

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

God touches my life manifesting prosperity and abundance. My life is enriched.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

“The real art of conversation is not only knowing the right thing to say at the right place but to leave the unsaid wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
Dorothy Nevill

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