Positive Daily Inspiration – February 4, 2024 – SUNDAY FUNNIES

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“A merry heart does good like a medicine.”
Proverbs 17:22

After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and a kiss when he left.

Later, the wife’s roommate commented: “Gee, your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.”

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Minnie Pearl, “The first lady of comedy” in country circles, passed March 4, 1996 at the age of 83. Although she aspired to be a Shakespearean actress as a young woman, she said she soon found out that God wanted her to be a comedian.

One of her standard lines: “Laughter is God’s hand on the shoulders of a troubled world.” Another favorite: “There will be no male pallbearers at my funeral. If they won’t take me out when I’m alive, I won’t let them take me out when I’m dead.”

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A florist new assistant took a telephone order from a customer. “The ribbon must be white,” said the woman on the phone, “with gold letters reading Rest in Peace on both sides. And, if you can squeeze it in, We Shall Meet in Heaven.”

When the floral tribute reached the home of the deceased, the inspiration read: Rest in Peace on Both Sides!

If You Can Squeeze in, We Shall Meet in Heaven.

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A zealous man once telephoned Woodrow Wilson in the wee hours of the morning when Wilson was governor of New Jersey, rousing him from sleep. “Gov. Wilson,” the man announced, “Your commissioner of highways just died, and I would like to take his place.” “If it’s all right with the undertaker, it’s all right with me,” Wilson replied.

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On the gravestone of the Walmart shopper:

Gone to Walmart.

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You can always identify the pastor of any parish. He’s the one who goes around turning out the lights. Two young priests were discussing how frugal their senior pastor was.

Said one: “When he dies, if he sees light at the end of the tunnel, he’ll put it out.”

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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, help me to laugh more in 2024.
I pray for belly laughs.
Increase my good humor.
Help me to see the funny side of life.
Remove from me old angers, cynicism and critical thinking.
Help me to become like a child again.
Help me to experience true joy that is found in friends that laugh together.
Help me to enjoy more of life in 2024.

In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

Others will always find a welcoming smile on my face.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

“If we expire when we die, shouldn’t we inspire while we live?”
George Goldtrap

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