Positive Daily Inspiration – April 14, 2024 – Sunday Funnies

a gift from www.PositiveChristianity.net

──────────── • ● • ────────────

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“Whosoever trusts in God, is happy.”
Proverbs 16:20

There once was a man who had worked all his life and had saved all his money and was a real miser. He loved money more than just about anything. One day, he said to his wife, “When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me, because I want to take my money into the afterlife.”

He forced her to promise with all her heart that she’d obey his wish and put all their money in the casket with him.

Well, soon after he died.

His wife sat in the church during the funeral next to her best friend. When the ceremony was finished, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the widow said, “Wait just a minute!” and she placed a small box she had with her in her husband’s lifeless hands.

The undertakers then locked the casket and rolled it away.

The woman’s friend said, “I know you weren’t fool enough to put all your money in there with your husband!”

The widow replied, “Listen, I’m a Christian. I can’t go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put our money in that casket with him and that’s what I did.”

“You mean to tell me you put all of your money in that casket?!!”

“I sure did,” said the widow.

“How’d you fit it all in that little box?” asked her friend.

“I wrote him a check.”

************************

For those of us getting along in years, here is a little secret for building our arm and shoulder muscles. You might want to adopt this regimen! Three days a week works well.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a few weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks and then 50-lb. potato sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, start putting a couple of potatoes in each of the sacks but be careful not to overdo it.

************************

Two men crashed in their private plane on a South Pacific Island. Both survived.

One of the men brushed himself off and then proceeded to run all over the island to see if they had any chance of survival. When he returned, he rushed up to the other man and screamed, “This island is uninhabited, there is no food, there is no water. We are going to die!”

The other man leaned back against the fuselage of the wrecked plane, folded his arms and responded, “No we’re not. I make over $100,000 a week.”

The first man grabbed his friend and shook him. “Listen, we are on an uninhabited island. There is no food, no water.

We are going to die!” The other man, unruffled, again responded.

“No, I make over $100,000 a week.”

Mystified, the first man, taken aback with such an answer again repeated, “For the last time, I’m telling you we are doomed. There is no one else on this island. There is no food. There is no water. We are, I repeat, we are going to die.”

Still unfazed, the first man looked the other in the eyes and said, “Don’t make me say this again. I make over $100,000 per week. I tithe 10%. Believe me, my pastor will find us.

_____________________________________

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Prayer is the soul’s sincere desire,
Uttered or unexpressed;
The motion of a hidden fire
That trembles in the breast.

Prayer is the burden of a sigh,
The falling of a tear,
The upward glance of an eye
When none but God is near.

Prayer is the simplest form of speech
That infant lips can try;
Prayer the sublimest strains that reach
The Majesty on High.

(John Montgomery)

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

I am thankful that the vibration of pure joy is activated within me, right now. I choose not to dwell on my problems, but instead on the gifts of God all around me.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”
Gloria Steinem

_____________________________________________

Support this on-going magnificent work of God.
Instant online, or recurring monthly giving:
https://positivechristianity.net/donation-tithe/

By mail: Positive Christianity, Box 7993, Woodlands, TX 77387

NEED PRAYER?
Click here https://positivechristianity.net/op-requests/
To submit an OPEN Prayer Request for ALL the WORLD to See.

Or you can submit a Confidential Positive Prayer Request.
https://positivechristianity.net/request-htm/
Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months.

There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.

Encyclopedia of Prayers: https://positivechristianity.net/enc-prayers/

Television channels (Free Service):
Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity
Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica
Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch
ON OUR WEBSITE
www.PositiveChristianity.net

GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth and our prayer team.