Positive Daily Inspiration – April 21, 2024 – Sunday Funnies

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“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are holding to your faith.”
2 Corinthians 13:5

Observations On Growing Older

Going Out is good.. Coming Home is better!

When People say “You Look Great” … They Add “For Your Age!”

You Forget names … But it’s OK because other people forgot they Even knew you!!!

The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It’s called his “pre-sleep”.

You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” Switch …

When GOOGLE, ipad, email, modem … Were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

You tend to use more 4 letter words … “what?” … “when?” … ???

Your husband has a night out with the guys, but he’s home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you’ve already read it.

Now that your husband has retired … You’d give anything if he’d find a job!

You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet … 2 of which you will never wear.

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To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, or students … here is something to make you chuckle.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was, “Don’t”.
“Don’t what?” Adam replied.
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.
“Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve … we have forbidden fruit!”
“No way!” says Eve
“Yes way!” says Adam
“Do NOT eat the fruit!” said God.
“Why?” Adam and Eve both ask.
“Because I am your father and I said so!” God replied, (wondering why he hadn’t stopped creation after making the elephants).
A few minutes later, God saw his children having an apple break and He was ticked!
“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit?” God, as our first parent, asked.
“Uh huh,” Adam replied.
“Then why did you?” said the Father.
“I don’t know,” said Eve.
“She started it!” Adam said.
“Did not!” said Eve.
“Did too!”
“DID NOT!”
Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed!

But there is reassurance in this story.

If you have, persistently and lovingly, tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your children.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat, word for word, what you shouldn’t have said.

The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

We child-proofed our home 3 years ago and they’re still getting in!

Anyway, be nice to your children, they might choose your nursing home, someday.

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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, let me begin right now to know and live Your truth.
Let me acknowledge Your presence with me.
Let me give my mind over to positive and constructive thoughts.
Let me fill my heart with love and peace.
Let me feel the harmonizing power of You flowing through my body.
Let my words and deeds be conscious expressions of my oneness with Your wisdom and power.
As I dedicate this day to the application of the God truth I know,
as I open my heart and my mind to God, I will demonstrate God’s wisdom and power in my life.

In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

I dedicate this day to the demonstration of God’s wisdom and power.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

“Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

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