Positive Daily Inspiration – February 12, 2023 – Sunday Funnies

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“According to the riches of God’s glory may God grant you to be strengthened with might through God’s Spirit and the inner human.”
Ephesians 3:16

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

John was a Christian and was not used to hearing such vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked, kicked, and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.

I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

________

This is the story of the poor young woman flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.

He has a heart attack and dies. She frantically calls a May Day:

“May Day!! May Day!! Help me!! Help me!! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don’t know how to fly.

Help me!! Please help me!!”

All of a sudden, she hears a voice over the radio saying:

“This is the tower. I have received your message and I will talk you through it. I’ve had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just relax. Everything will be fine!!

Now give me your height and position.”

She says, “I’m 5’4″ and I’m in the front seat.”

“O.K.” says the voice from the tower. “Repeat after me: Our Father … Who art in Heaven … “

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

In willingness, I give myself in entirety to expressing and experiencing the full spirit of God.

This week I live in hope and express that to everyone that crosses my path.

I let my light shine, and my life this week is in total faith in God.

In Jesus Christ name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

The fearless courageous power of the Holy Spirit is my deliverance and my body is blessed with peace, strength, and perfect harmony.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you – we are in charge of our attitudes.”
Charles Swindoll

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