Positive Daily Inspiration – October 8, 2023 – Sunday Funnies

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(Submitted with our great thanks)

“And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
Ephesians 5:2

During a New Jersey jury selection, the judge is picking a jury for a drug distribution case. He starts by asking, “Is there anyone here that can’t participate in this particular case?”

A lady in the back of the jury selection pool raises her hand and says, “Judge, I can’t be on this jury because of my occupation.”

The judge inquires, “Madame, what is it that you do?

“The lady answer, “Your honor, I’m a soothsayer.”

The judge responds, “Alright, so exactly how does that prevent you from sitting on this jury?”

The lady explains, “I already know how the case is going to turn out.”

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Considerations …

1. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, “Well, that’s not going to happen”.

2. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

3. I’m not 40-something. I’m $39.95, plus shipping and handling.

4. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

5. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and she says, “I wish you’d have come to me sooner.”

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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

“For I will restore health to you.”
Jeremiah 30:17

Dear God, I relax into prayer and I ask You to bless my body with wholeness and vitality.
I know that Your good work is already being established and that my healing, will emerge.
It is taking place now. I feel refreshed, renewed, and revitalized because I am healed by God.

In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

When I believe in myself, so do others. I believe in God, and I believe in God’s creation – in myself!

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

Some philosopher once said, “The problem with most people is that they cannot set for long alone in a room by themselves.”

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