Positive Daily Inspiration – November 26, 2023 – Sunday Funnies

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̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶ o O o ̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶

(Submitted with our great thanks)

“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.”
Psalms 30:5

When the gambler wakes up from dreaming about a huge glowing number 5 made out of gold and diamonds, he knows it’s an omen. So, he grabs a racing form and looks up that day’s fifth race. Sure enough, the number five horse in the fifth race is Fifth Element. So, for the rest of the day, he does everything in fives:

He eats five bowls of cereal for breakfast,
goes for a five-mile run,
takes a five-minute shower,
and wears the fifth jacket he finds in his closet.
At the racetrack, he buys five programs,
bets $555 on the fifth horse in the fifth race,
and sits in the fifth row of the bleachers.

And then the gun goes off, he settles in and watches his horse come in fifth.

___________________________

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn’t leaving until 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns

___________________________

Bubba applied for an engineering position.

Jim applied for the same job. Both applicants, having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions.

The manager went to Bubba and said: “Thanks for your interest, but we’ve decided to give Jim the job.”

Bubba asked: “And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct!”

The manager said: “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but, rather, on the one question that you both missed.

Bubba then asked: “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?”

The manager said: “Bubba, it’s like this. On question No. 4 Jim put down; ‘I don’t know.’

You put down, ‘Neither do I.'”

__________________________________________

POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:

Dear God, I know in Christ I am capable.
Through Christ I am successful.
I have the Mind of Christ in me.
I am always one with Divine intelligence.
Through prayer I make my connection with the Christ Mind by affirming my oneness with it, and I open myself to spiritual light and understanding.

In Jesus Christ’s name … Amen

POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:

The peace and harmony of God are strong in me, and I am poised and centered in the one infinite Life, Light, and Power.

POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:

“When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute – and it will be longer than any hour. That’s relativity.”
Albert Einstein

_____________________________________________

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