Prayer Request: Please offer prayer to heal our planet EARTH due to deforestation, loss of entire ecosystems, extinction of animals and plant life, and climate crisis for all human life. Provide the solutions man needs to prevent further loss and introduce restoration.
a gift from www.PositiveChristianity.org
ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ o O o
(Submitted with our great thanks)
“He the dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, God is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in God will I trust.”
Psalms 91:1, 2
Idle thoughts of a wandering mind β¦
β¦ I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
β¦ I had amnesia once – or twice.
β¦ Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
β¦ All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
β¦ What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
β¦ They told me I was gullible β¦ and I believed them.
β¦ Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
β¦ One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
β¦ My weight is perfect for my height – which varies.
β¦ I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
β¦ The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
β¦ How can there be self-help “groups”?
β¦ Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.
β¦ Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?
_______
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here.”
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!” says the leopard, “That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!”
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, “Where’s that lazy monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”
__________________________________________
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
Dear God, I pray on this Sunday that I am aware of your love and help every moment of the day.
I pray that this is the day that I gain a wider vision of my spirituality and possibilities for the future.
I go with God and I know You go with me.
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
God, in God’s love, pours out God’s abundant good upon me, and my life and world show forth God’s perfect order.
POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:
“In science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to the man to whom the idea first occurs.”
William Osler
_____________________________________________
Support this on-going magnificent work of God.
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NEED PRAYER?
Click here https://positivechristianity.net/op-requests/
To submit an OPEN Prayer Request for ALL the WORLD to See.
Or you can submit a Confidential Positive Prayer Request.
https://positivechristianity.net/request-htm/
Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months.
There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.
Encyclopedia of Prayers: https://positivechristianity.net/enc-prayers/
Television channels (Free Service):
Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity
Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica
Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch
ON OUR WEBSITE
www.PositiveChristianity.org
GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth and our prayer team
a gift from www.PositiveChristianity.org
ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ o O o ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ
(Submitted with our great thanks)
“Consider the lilies of the field β¦ “
Matthew 6:28
PARABLE OF THE PENCIL
The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box. “There are 5 things you need to know,” he told the pencil, “before I send you out into the world, always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be.”
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someone’s hand.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you’ll need it to become a better pencil.
Three: You will be able to correct mistakes you will make.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.
And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.”
The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.
Now put yourself in the place of the pencil; always remember positive points, and you will become the best person you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God’s hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, but you’ll need it to become a stronger person.
Three: You will be able to correct mistakes you might make or grow through them.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s on the inside.
And Five: On every surface you walk, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to serve God in everything.
By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart and a relationship with God daily.
__________________________________________
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
(Automobile Blessing)
This is God’s car. It neither gives nor receives offense in all its journeying. God’s hand is at the wheel. God’s wisdom chooses the way. God’s law of order and right adjustment is manifest in all its mechanism. No fear alarms its occupants; for God’s presence blesses them with the spirit of peace. The driver of this car is an emissary of God’s Spirit. God’s wisdom inspires the driver with alertness, good judgment, and quick decision. God’s patience gives the driver temperance and courtesy.
The Spirit of the Lord is upon the driver and the passengers directing them in all God’s ways
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
I work with the Spirit of God and accomplish all things easily, perfectly, on time, and in order.
POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:
“The average pencil is 7 inches long, with just a half inch eraser – in case you thought optimism was dead.”
Robert Brault
_____________________________________________
Support this on-going magnificent work of God.
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NEED PRAYER?
Click here https://positivechristianity.net/op-requests/
To submit an OPEN Prayer Request for ALL the WORLD to See.
Or you can submit a Confidential Positive Prayer Request.
https://positivechristianity.net/request-htm/
Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months.
There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.
Encyclopedia of Prayers: https://positivechristianity.net/enc-prayers/
Television channels (Free Service):
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Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica
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ON OUR WEBSITE
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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth and our prayer tea
a gift from www.PositiveChristianity.org
ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ o O o ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ
“Clear thou me from hidden faults.” Psalms 19:12
Nothing is stronger than the love of God. When you rely on God’s love, the conditions in your life become harmonious, orderly, and right. God’s love is powerful to bless you, right where you are, in the situations you are facing. God’s love finds expression through you, transmuting your faults, as patience, love, understanding, and forgiveness take over.
God’s changeless love, moving through you, cannot fail. When there is temptation to find fault, in yourself and others, you turn, in that moment, to the power of God’s love surrounding you, and coming through you. You ask for God’s love to take over, and your upset feelings vanish. You ask for God’s wisdom to keep you firm and strong, to guide you in all that you say and do. God’s love is THE source of tremendous strength.
God’s love always promotes peace. God’s love is always kind. God’s love is always patient and tactful. God’s love is always forgiving and compassionate. God’s love is the love power that works through you, to correct every wrong. By believing in the power of God’s changeless love at work in your life, all is made well within you.
If you complain, even to yourself, and feel critical and find fault, no one needs to tell you that you should change the direction of your thoughts and feelings. You do not like the way you feel, but sometimes you do not know how to cope with such feelings. One good way is to think of something for which to be thankful.
Critical people tend to be noisy people. Mark Twain once said, “Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid.”
The person we may feel critical of has some good points; something about him or her deserves our praise. Let us look for the good and praise it with the eyes and voice of God’s love. As we do this, we will not be able to stay in a critical and faultfinding state of mind. The other person may never know how we thought about him or her. They may not be aware of either our feelings of criticism, or of praise, but we are aware of the change in our inner thoughts and feelings. God’s love has won another victory. How we think and how we feel makes a great deal of difference to us and affects our relationships with others — even without us saying a word.
We find it easier to get along, happily and peacefully, with others, as we practice the presence of God’s love, by praising the good in others and by praising God’s good in our lives. God’s love will transform you and clear away hidden faults that you may not even be aware of.
Let us begin this day with a prayer of thanks to God, and let us carry this feeling of thankfulness with us, all through the day, as we let our light shine as God’s love in human action.
__________________________________________
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
Teach us, our God and King, in all things
Thee to see, that what we do in anything we do it unto Thee.
George Herbert
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
God’s love is flowing through me towards my life, the people in my life, and in my attitudes and reactions towards this day
POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:
“Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.”
Henry David Thoreau
_____________________________________________
Support this on-going magnificent work of God.
Instant online, or recurring monthly giving:
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NEED PRAYER?
Click here https://positivechristianity.net/op-requests/
To submit an OPEN Prayer Request for ALL the WORLD to See.
Or you can submit a Confidential Positive Prayer Request.
https://positivechristianity.net/request-htm/
Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months.
There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.
Encyclopedia of Prayers: https://positivechristianity.net/enc-prayers/
Television channels (Free Service):
Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity
Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica
Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch
ON OUR WEBSITE
www.PositiveChristianity.org
GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth and our prayer tea
a gift from www.PositiveChristianity.org
ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ o O o ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ
“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be humans of courage; be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13
As I faced my God in Heaven, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls.
Before each of us lay our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles. An Angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life.
But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each square was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations
I was faced with in everyday life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the right hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth.
The others rose, each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been.
My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the round in shame. I hadn’t had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and death, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it.
I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again.
I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to God in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me. And now, I had to face the truth.
My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. I rise and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ.
Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in God’s eyes. God said, very time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.” May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through.
__________________________________________
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
Dear God, come through my weak areas and make me strong.
Shine Your light through my life.
Thank You God for your ever-abiding presence.
Amen.
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
Whatever I need, whenever I need it, wherever I am, day or night, God is there to help me!
POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:
“The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.”
Arthur C. Clarke
_____________________________________________
Support this on-going magnificent work of God.
Instant online, or recurring monthly giving:
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By mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, TX 77387
NEED PRAYER?
Click here https://positivechristianity.net/op-requests/
To submit an OPEN Prayer Request for ALL the WORLD to See.
Or you can submit a Confidential Positive Prayer Request.
https://positivechristianity.net/request-htm/
Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months.
There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.
Encyclopedia of Prayers: https://positivechristianity.net/enc-prayers/
Television channels (Free Service):
Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity
Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica
Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch
ON OUR WEBSITE
www.PositiveChristianity.org
GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth and our prayer tea
a gift from www.PositiveChristianity.org
ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ o O o
“There is no other god besides me, a righteous God and a Savior.”
Isaiah 45:21
God, as love, has always existed; and God’s law of love has been in operation from the beginning of time.
Humankind has been progressing, by degrees, to a higher realization of God as a loving Parent. The Old Testament is a history of human’s steady growth in this respect. Where once the Law of Moses (an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth) was necessary to control the conduct of human beings, humans are now coming to the realization that the law of love is greater.
“For the law was given through Moses; Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” John 1:17
Justice is the loving method God uses to move humans from imperfect concepts to an awareness of perfection. The love of God, and the grace of God are available to every human and every instance involving justice. We only need to realize it and claim it. Love and forgiveness are the higher law.
You give thanks for the freeing realization that God’s law of love and justice is at work in your life, freeing you from all belief in injustice and victim-hood in all areas of your life.
“The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” 1 John 4:8
Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Franklin P. Jones
If, for the moment, your life seems dark, dreary, or cold, you can be love-filled, despite appearances. You can be certain that there will be a spiritual experience of God’s love. The warmth of God’s love will renew your personal world. You can be faith-filled concerning God’s love, meant for you. Life will once again be bright, colorful, exciting, and you will be assured of new positive growth. Even when there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out – God is all you need!
In Mark 4:40 Scripture says, “Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?”
Positive Christianity has people around the world that are praying for an infilling of love and faith. You are praying, we are praying, they are praying – knowing this gives us a feeling that we are holding hands in love with all humanity.
Ask yourself as you read this Positive Daily Inspiration:
“What is the need of my life?”
Is it order, harmony, justice, love, good relationships, joy, wisdom, guidance, health, prosperity, strength, comfort, better job, freedom, or peace?” Whatever your need, great or small, you place it, lovingly in the hands of God, for in God, you trust. You trust in God and your feelings are attuned to that trust. You trust in God and the thoughts of your mind, your word, and your loving actions give evidence to it. A new order is established in your life and your world, because you have a growing ability to trust God in everything in your life. You are filled with a new awareness of God’s love.
__________________________________________
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
Dear God, I pray that I fully know Your love.
I pray that I feel love every day.
I pray that I express Your love through my actions and my every word.
I pray that I am able to give, and receive love.
I pray that my world is made in the image and likeness of You, a heaven on earth, filled with love.
I pray that nothing in my past, no hurt, no memory, keeps me from fully receiving, and expressing Your love.
In Jesus Christ’s name β¦ Amen
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
Through God’s love, I am blessed with an unlimited love that can never be depleted. Love overflows in every area, to every person in my life.
POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:
“If you have it [Love], you don’t need to have anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have.”
Sir James M. Barrie
_____________________________________________
Support this on-going magnificent work of God.
Instant online, or recurring monthly giving:
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NEED PRAYER?
Click here https://positivechristianity.net/op-requests/
To submit an OPEN Prayer Request for ALL the WORLD to See.
Or you can submit a Confidential Positive Prayer Request.
https://positivechristianity.net/request-htm/
Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months.
There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.
Encyclopedia of Prayers: https://positivechristianity.net/enc-prayers/
Television channels (Free Service):
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Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica
Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch
ON OUR WEBSITE
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GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth and our prayer tea
Prayer Request: Please pray for my personal intentions and needs. God bless You all abundantly. Thank You.
a gift from www.PositiveChristianity.org
ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ o O o
YOU WERE CREATED BY GOD FOR GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT
“A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul.” Proverbs 13:19
You have heard of people that are good starters, but poor finishers. You have known persons who started all kinds of projects with enthusiasm, but soon lost interest and turned to something else.
A child of God is meant for and God-equipped for accomplishment. Each of us is geared for attainment. As you pray for wisdom and direction in using your talents and abilities, you will be led to give your time in worthwhile and satisfying ways. You will be led by God to give your interest and attention to worthwhile and satisfying endeavors.
As you pray for consecration to your purpose, you will be led to take the steps, one at a time, that will lead to perfect fulfillment.
God will work with you. You will work as a team, and with God working in you, and through you, you will become a good finisher of all projects. You will also have the courage to be a good starter. You enter into life, this Friday, with enthusiasm, but you also want to have patience and endurance to stay the course to meet your goals, and experience the joy of accomplishment. If you find yourself questioning your purpose and needs, you have swift access to God’s light, empowerment, and love.
A good accomplisher turns to God, often, in prayer. Prayer will work to recharge you and motivate you. Prayer will reveal your way to you and will lead you in the adventure of the direction of your highest good.
You have often heard it said, “As within so without.” An accomplishment begins with your thinking of it as easy to accomplish, and in fact, already accomplished. Jesus knew what he was saying when he said, “When you pray, believe you have already received.” You must watch your thoughts, and if you find them slipping into negative grooves, such as self-doubt, inferiority feelings, or fear, you can quickly establish control over them by centering yourself in prayer.
God believes in you – more than you believe in yourself!
God knows what you can do because God created you to do it. When your thoughts are established in God Truth, your actions will naturally follow in this success path. You will move forward with the conviction that you are going forth to accomplish good purposes.
Procrastination and self-stoppage is a learned, human habit that, overtime, defines who you are, to your own self-image of yourself. Accomplishment after accomplishment re-creates you in the image and likeness of God, your creator. With every accomplishment, you will believe in yourself more.
There is nothing–NOTHING– that God cannot do through you! You are meant for accomplishment!
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POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
Dear God, today I dust off my dreams and I ask You to come through my thinking the show me that together all can be accomplished.
This weekend I pray that you will infill me with self-confidence, self worth, and meaningful purpose for my life so that I may start fresh Monday morning, with a new outlook, a new vision, and profound hope.
In Jesus Christ’s name β¦ Amen
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
My future good is ever expanding and constant. God is my never failing source of continuous good.
POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:
“The question is not what you look at, but what you see.”
Henry David Thoreau
_____________________________________________
Support this on-going magnificent work of God.
Instant online, or recurring monthly giving:
http://www.positivechristianity.net/donation-tithe/
By mail: Positive Christianity Box 7993 Woodlands, TX 77387
NEED PRAYER?
Click here https://positivechristianity.net/op-requests/
To submit an OPEN Prayer Request for ALL the WORLD to See.
Or you can submit a Confidential Positive Prayer Request.
https://positivechristianity.net/request-htm/
Positive Christianity will pray with you, daily, for an entire 2 months.
There Is Never a Charge for Prayer.
Encyclopedia of Prayers: https://positivechristianity.net/enc-prayers/
Television channels (Free Service):
Inspiration http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChristianity
Prayer http://www.youtube.com/prayerAmerica
Meditation http://www.youtube.com/PositiveChurch
ON OUR WEBSITE
www.PositiveChristianity.org
GOD BLESS YOU,
Christopher Ian Chenoweth and our prayer tea
Prayer Request: pray for me and that I do well at work. Work hard, competent, wise and do whats right with boldness and fervor, representing GOD well. PRay for me to get along with others and have favor β¦ Pray i make friends. Pray I find a wife. Pray the Lord provides. Pray about a relationship with someone named Ashley. Pray it works out for me if GOD will. PRay we grow closer and GOD Makes it all happen β¦ Last pray GOD shows the gospel to my brother Kenneth and He accepts JESUS
ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ o O o ΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆΜΆ
(Submitted with our great thanks)
“This day shall be a day of remembrance for you. You shall celebrate it as a festival to the Lord.” Exodus 12:14
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES:
If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday School class.
“NO!” the children all answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “NO!”
“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, “NO!”
“Well, I continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”
_________
The following are actual stories told by travel agents:
I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer became very irate and insisted “I know it is real, I see people check in every week!”
___
I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.
___
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, “Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”
___
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.”
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.”
Her response β¦ click.
___
A secretary called in looking for a hotel in Los Angeles. She gave me various names off a list, none of which I could find. I finally had her fax me the list. To my surprise, it was a list of hotels in New Orleans, Louisiana. She thought the LA stood for Los Angles, and that New Orleans was a suburb of L.A. Worst of all, when I called her back, she was not even embarrassed.
___
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”
___
I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?”
I said, “No.”
He said “But they look so close on the map.”
___
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a one-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”
___
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
___
A woman called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?”
I said, “No, why do you ask?”
She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I’m overweight, is there any connection?”
After putting her on hold for a minute while I ‘looked into it’ (I was actually laughing), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
___
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?”
I asked him what, exactly, he meant, to which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.”
___
A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes.”
I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane.
She said, “Yeah, whatever.”
___
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
“Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China 4 times and every time, they have accepted my American Express.”
___
A woman called to make reservations; “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York. The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent said “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”
“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer.
After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.”
The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?”
“That’s it! I knew it was a big animal!”
__________________________________________
POSITIVE DAILY PRAYER:
The light of God surrounds me;
The love of God enfolds me;
The power of God protects me;
The presence of God watches over me.
Wherever I am, God is!
POSITIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION:
I am calm and poised in God’s joy!
POSITIVE DAILY QUOTE:
“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.”
Charles Kettering
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